Only in the Land of OZ, or Beebe’s Arkansas

Arkansas Legislators Plunder the Arkansas Retirement system

            It comes as a complete shock to learn that as this year’s Arkansas Legislative session crawls to a close, the penurious legislators, wishing to provide for their old age, have added this plum. For each year worked, please don’t laugh, it’s a technical/legal term, not a descriptor of activity, the legislator will receive credit for 2 years in the state retirement system. So if we are stuck with the greedy cuss for 10 years, he/she (we’re bisexual, not wait that’s not the right word, unisex, no wait, oh well you know what I mean) can retire with 20 years of service.

            Just like that, with a stroke of their own pen they voted themselves that perk at our expense. Is it any wonder that the TEA PARTY has such a broad based appeal?

            I know there was heart felt justification for this plum offered up by state representative Randy Stewart, “It’s a fairness issue,” he explains, not just another grab. Legislators “are getting no more or no less than any other state employee”.

            So now every mouth feeding at the Arkansas public trough of taxpayer dollars can get double credit in the state retirement system for just showing up for work. One might ask why this twofer is even in the retirement system for anyone?

Ancient Life signs found at Park

            We apologize. At first we thought that this article was alleging that signs of ancient life had been found at the Arkansas State Legislature’s site, but that is in error. There were no signs of ancient life found there.

Rogers School District researching how much it will cost to replace employees who took buyouts.

            No, we’re not kidding. The Rogers School District offered 180 employees up to $40,000.00 each to leave and 89 apparently took the offer. Now the district is having Educators Preferred Corp., the company who administered the buyout program, “collect information about how much it will cost to replace the employees who took buyouts”.

            One might ask that if you really needed the folks, why did you pay them to leave?

But the folks who dreamed this up are elected politicians so that may help your understanding.

            Oh, one reason given as to why all 180 eligible employees didn’t take the $40K and go is that if you have worked at least 14 years and have 28 years in the retirement system, (remember you get 2 for 1 down here), you can work for another 10 years and receive your salary plus some of your retirement benefits in an interest bearing account.

Little Rock City plans to reduce obesity

            This laudable goal is to be partially targeted by having a selected group pf students plant tomatoes (yes with an ’e’), zucchini, and strawberries.

            Principal Tyrone Harris said, “the program will eventually lead to community cooking classes at the school. Neighbors will be encouraged to help tend the plots, and children can take the vegetables home come harvest time. I would suggest to the students to be the early bird or you may have to eat the zucchini.

            As a non-involved reader of this bit of exciting news, I formed an opinion or two. Wouldn’t it help with the student obesity problem if the student tended the garden rather than a neighbor? Is the promise of cooking classes at the school a recognition that we can no longer educate students in reading, writing, and arithmetic and by teaching them cooking they will learn a trade to make them employable at a burger biggie outlet?

            The final sentence in the article, “Too many kids are going to the hospital because they don’t get enough exercise,” (said Brandon Shavers, a fourth-grader at the school). I remember in old times the PE teacher made us run around the school for exercise; but heck, that’s probably child abuse, let them eat zucchini.

State to Risk of Idling State Insurance Agency

Per the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, “The budget committee chairman and Governor Beebe refused to budge in their standoff over a stalled Insurance Department appropriation, an impasse that could shut the agency down. The state House of Representatives twice defeated the bill over some lawmaker’s concerns that $1 million of the $72.6 million appropriation will be used to create a health-insurance exchange (read that as an Obamacare requirement).

“The House Republican Leader, John Burris, tired unsuccessfully to remove the money for the insurance exchange from the bill before the house voted.”

If lawmakers do not approve the bill, the department will receive no funding and, well the sky will fall!

Governor Beebe called the House actions ”Tragic” and “pretty catastrophic”.

As a non-House member reading of all this, a thought comes to mind. Why not separate out the $71.6 million to run the agency and then try to address the $1 million Obamacare item separately? Well of course we know the answer, the Obamacare piece, a child of Governor Beebe’s, would die aborning if pulled out to stand on its own merits. So the Gov and his lead henchmen in the House risk shutting down the agency, and the whole world if their claims are to be believed, to attempt to force the nay votes to capitulate. Seems that some TEA PARTIERS were elected this past November and are sticking to their guns. We’ll see if they hold true, or crumble to politics as usual

Are WE Feeling Better, Economically Speaking?

             Just in case you weren’t listening to El Presidente or other elected leaders, here are a few of this week’s headlines, Economically speaking.

            First President Obama urges 1/3^rd reduction in oil imports. He is calling for a broad front of initiatives to accomplish this:

1.      “Wider use of natural gas, including incentives (read that as new spending or tax give a-ways which just might add to the deficit) to use it for fuel fleet vehicles such as city buses”. Don’t know about yours, but our city leaders would love to have more money fall from the skies to do this. By the way, if ALL the City Buses in the U.S. were converted to natural gas, what percent of our petroleum usages is that? 1%?

2.      “He backed greater production of biofuels and vowed to establish at least 4 commercial-scale refineries producing cellulosic ethanol or advanced biofuels within the next two years”. Do you think that he will pay for this personally or again spend money he don’t have and add to the deficit? Can you really build a refinery from scratch in just two years?

3.      Now here are the easy ways to reduce oil usage; it is called ‘by the stroke of a pen, good fairy intervention’. “He also pledged to establish higher fuel-efficiency standards for heavy trucks, just as he did for passenger vehicles early in his administration.” Isn’t it great having our best and brightest working on these solutions? If they made the standards REAL high could they overcome our entire oil import problem?

4.      “Obama also urged oil companies to make greater use of the federal leases both onshore and offshore to prop up domestic oil output.” Excuse me, isn’t this the same guy that declared a moratorium last year of indefinite duration on off shore drilling? Was I asleep when he had his epiphany on offshore drilling?

Next poor Portugal has had its credit downgraded to just one notch above ‘junk’ status. No wonder their government quit. But Brazil is thinking of helping to bail them out. One wonders if the Brazilians will buy Portugal bonds, can we ask them to buy some of ours too? Without, or even with, a bailout, a few pundits are forecasting a double dip recession for the poor Portuguese. The good news for the rest of us is that their plight follows Greece and Ireland and since we all know that bad luck comes in threes, the sooner they dive into it, the safer the rest of us will be.

Venezuelan state oil workers pension fund has invested some funds in a Ponzi Scheme and fears to lose millions. It was unclear if those funds were invested in U.S. Social Security Treasury IOUs or not. If not, there may be some recover of funds per the article.

Back to Washington, your Congress and Senate are both stating that they fear a government shutdown will be caused by the other body unless the other body caves soon. Seems that our elected leaders are unable to find 30 to 50 billion dollars of stuff to stop spending money on in a 1.4 trillion dollar budget. That’s about 2.4% or less. Whatever is proposed by one body seems to be shown by the other to take the food right out of the mouths of starving children, most of whom may not be here ‘officially’, but who cares when one is espousing a good cause for spending other peoples’ money.

Oh, and speaking of Washington, you longsuffering Social Security blood suckers (I’m told by Mr. Obama, Ms. Pelosi, and Mr. Reid that you are the major problem our nation faces in the current debt crisis), will not be receiving an income bump for the 3^rd year running. Not quite accurate, you will get a bump, but it will be consumed by an increase in your Medicare premium you double-dipping bloodsuckers, as this is the second biggest problem we face in our debt crisis per my same source. But here is the good news, since the two biggest problems we face to overcome our fiscal problems are centered on a bunch of old bloodsuckers, let’s just wait until they all die, and then we won’t have the problem anymore. At least that seems to be how your Congress and Senate have chosen to view this two issues over the last decade or three. Well, that’s not quite true either, Mr. Obama and his team have passed a new health care bill that will take 500 million dollars away from Medicare to give health care to 30 million new folks who don’t have health insurance, or a green card, which will treat you double bloodsucking old timers as you deserve.

“What Shirley?” “Well, yes I do use both of those programs, but I’m not a bloodsucker, I paid my share all those years I worked!”

Little Rock Mayor Stodola Wants to Raise Taxes, Surprise, Surprise.

             Mark Stodola, The Mayor, says “city can no longer take a ‘Band-Aid’ approach to providing services and needs residents to approve a higher sales tax”.

            When the current ½ % sales tax was first implemented in 1995 it was a $12 million addition to the budget; it now produces $22.5 million; not a bad little increase. Probably better than some of us have received over the same time span, at least my income and my 401K looks at that 87.5% increase enviably.

            Seems that part of the Mayor’s problem is jealousy. It appears that several “smaller” cities in the state have a higher sales tax percentage and income. Fort Smith has a 2% sales tax that rakes in $37 million annually versus the Capital City’s meagerly $22.5 million.

            And yes, he threw the ‘usual list’ of threatened services under the bus: resurfacing the cities streets doesn’t even have a budget line item, can’t maintain the cities parks, much less mow their grass, and the police have three year old cars and it’s time to buy new ones.

            Other cost cutting measures over the last two years has the city short 200 positions that apparently were authorized in prior, plushier times.

            What was missing in the “Politicians Plea for Further Tax Increases” was any supporting information.

            For example, it was reported that the sales tax revenue has increase 87.5% since 1995, but not how much percentage growth in the city’s budget or manpower over the same period.

            It would also be enlightening to understand the city's population growth from 1995 to 2010 both on an absolute and percentage increase.

The city has 200 open positions today, but what was the total number of employees in 1995 versus 2010? What is the percentage growth in the number of employees?

The city has a budget of $134 million; where do they spend it?

Are the City Directors giving automatic salary increases to employees even while cutting services like repaving roads and maintaining city parks?

As for three years old police cars, does that mean that the cars are worn out, high mileage, broken down, unsafe for the officers or citizens, or just time to join the State of Arkansas in buying some more cars? I want the police to have cars that run, are safe to drive, and have the equipment needed for their safety and ours. But the fact that they are driving 3 year old cars doesn’t “resonate” with me and my 15 year-old van. Of course I’m not going to be chasing the extra 6,880 “non-violent” criminals that Governor Beebe proposes to unleash on us over the next 10 years. So maybe the police do need more cars, not just newer models because “it hasn’t purchased new police cars in three years”.

For reasons not yet understood the citizens voted two years ago to actually pay The Mayor Stodola $35,000 a year. What do we get for that? Higher taxes.

The local paper noted “City directors didn’t know what to expect from Stodola until the noon speech…”.  Many of us who may have voted for him now share that same concern: we don’t know what to expect from Stodola in the future, but obviously higher taxes is one of them.

But rest easy taxpayer, he threw in a comment that he hoped the citizens would also approve an additional “temporary tax for capital projects”. Makes one wonder if the 1995 sales tax was sold to the citizens as a “temporary tax”.

It is refreshing to learn that politicians just don’t change. They always want more money and offer to be prudent with the new funds if approved and to cut vital services if not approved.

           I suggest that we start with the Mayor’s salary as a new source of city funds. It would make me feel better when one of the new capital projects results in the newly constructed but over budget “Stodola Center for Something or Other” opens.

Mark Martin, Where Have all the Good Men Gone?

           Just when we think that we have turned the spotlight on government spending abuse, we elect Mark Martin as Secretary of State. In even less time than it took our newly elected Associate Supreme Court Justice to file for divorce, find a boyfriend and take 9 trips with, and fully paid for by him, which many of us thought was a whirlwind record for poor judgment, Mr. Martin goes out and buys a new $27,000.00 car for his office.

            The state has over 8,000 cars and can’t even keep track of those. The Secretary of State has 23 on hand and in less that 70 days in office goes and buys another one, and he’s a Republican! Based on this initial display of his judgment of the taxpayer’s mind frame, he should be a “One Termer.” Oh sure, I know that he can fully justify the need; the other 23 cars in his department are already needed for daily commutes by current staff and he has a new person coming on board that just can’t abide using a “pool” car.

And speaking of all the cars literally running around in the state’s employees’ hands, we were due a report from the Director of Finance and Administration last week as to where the 8,000+ other cars are and what official need, if any, justifies their existence. Have we seen it yet? No. Will we ever see it? Don’t bet your house on it.

           I guess there is some good news in all of this; the new car was a hybrid. I hope that this at least promises that the taxpayer will have to spend less money for the gas that this new employee will use driving this new $27,000.00 car, totaling 24 now in the Secretary of State’s Office, around the highways and byways of the state as he/she heads to and from work.

When Is Arkansas Going to Elect a Governor That Can Drive a Car?

         The Governor Beebe has the State Police drive him around like some Middle Eastern Potentate. This really confuses me. I view the State Police as a highly trained, capable, professional organization with more important duties than to drive the Governor around. If he can’t drive a car, he should hire a chauffer or ask his wife to drop him off at work. Maybe the downtown trolley could make a special run for the tourists to see the “Mansion” and the State Capital and pick up the “Gov” on the way.

I can understand why Bill Clinton needed the State Police to drive him around: to protect him from irate boyfriends and fathers. But I’m not aware that more recent governors such as Governors Huckabee and Beebe have that proclivity and special protection need.

Wait, I’ve just had a brainstorm! Governor Beebe is going to release 6,880 “Non-violent” criminals onto the highways and byways of the state rather than incarcerate them. Why not hire one of these on sort of a work release program? Pay a much lower salary than the State Police Officer commands and allows the Police to return to protecting ordinary citizens. Since the Governor’s Mansion is state property, Governor Beebe could even house the “Non-violent” felon right there, available 24/7.

A beautiful solution! Saves the state money, allows Beebe to put example where his mouth has gone before him, frees his wife from having to drop him off at work, and removes the necessity of the Governor having to learn how to drive a car! Plus the Governor shows by example how safe it is with all these extra “non-violent” criminals roaming around.

           Shirley, it’s just amazing how we can resolve these nitty little problems when we put our best and brightest on them!

Never Under Estimate a Bunch Of Politicians

             The State of Arkansas owes the Federal government over $330 million loaned to the State for Unemployment Benefits during this last Great Recession, which many believe was in a major part caused right there in the U. S. Congress. There has been great and thoughtful debate in the hallowed halls of our state legislature on how to handle this “load of loans”. Think new taxes as the usual remedy, but of course paid by the businesses, that will probably pass it on to their customers, who are the taxpayers. But what the heck, pass a tax through two or three sub layers and the stupid taxpayers will never see it. (Ref: page 2 of Legislative Digest Guidelines to Assure Re-election).

            Just today it was reported that the State Senate is going to ‘earmark’ $700,000 of “SURPLUS” funds for special projects in their districts, etc. This is after Governor Beebe groaned and moaned about the State not being able to afford any tax cuts not his own idea (think take credit for personally) without reducing police, teachers, Medicaid, and the usual suspects threatened to be thrown under the bus to put the taxpayer back into submission.

            Out here in Center Field, where the water is clean and the heart is pure, a question springs to mind. How can you have “Surplus” funds when you owe $330 million? And if there are “Surplus” funds, why not pass the surplus back to the folks that paid the taxes if you aren’t going to apply the “Surplus” to your debt?

            To give some credit to our elected Representatives, the HOUSE did in fact decline to use any “Surplus” funds for pet projects. Hooray for the House!!! Shame on the Senate!!! Vote the Spenders out!!!

Coincidence Is Not A Kosher Word

          Is it a coincidence that less than a week after the Arkansas Senate approved Governor Beebe’s new prison reform bill to potentially release “non-violent” criminals from prison and to not incarcerate them in the future, that the Little Rock Police Department is authorizing their patrol officers to be equipped with semi-automatic weapons?

            In truth the article does point out that other state and local law enforcement officers have had these weapons for years and that the Little Rock SWAT team has them. Perhaps it’s just the Little Rock Force catching up with the need of the time. Or perhaps it’s the Little Rock Force looking ahead to the time when Governor Beebe will dump an additional 6,880 (per The Pew Study) “non-violent” criminals onto the streets and byways of Arkansas over the next ten years.

            IF an officer wishes to carry such a weapon in his patrol car, he must do the following. First take some type of unspecified training “to qualify to wield them”. Now that makes perfectly sound logical sense to me.

But then it takes a perverse twist, “would have to radio in for authorization to use them. (Police spokesman) Hastings said”. Assuming that the officer is receiving fire from some miscreant using an AK-47, he’s to find his radio, call in and hopefully locate someone with the authority to authorize the weapon’s use? Can the dispatcher authorize it? What if the Captain or Lieutenant is on the potty, what does the dispatcher do, burst in and seek permission in the Men’s Room? Who better than the poor cop on the ground taking fire to determine IF he should use it? But wait; is the logic of this restriction that a cop is more dangerous firing a rifle than a 40 mm Glock? Quite frankly, I personally can hit a target at greater distance and with more accuracy with a rifle then a handgun; would bet that the typical patrol car officer can too. Wait, I’ve just had a great idea. Why not include marksmanship as part of the training “to qualify to wield them!”

But then the strangest perversion is that the police officer desiring to carry one in his patrol car must purchase it with his own funds at $900.00 a copy. With all the money we waste in the Convention Bureau, you would think that someone could find forty or fifty grand to arm our officers. Heck, I’d be willing to donate some bucks myself to help insure that the cop can match firepower with the miscreant when and if a patrol officer ever has to respond to a call at my house.

“Coincidence is not a Kosher word; it removes the hand of God.”

                                    Rabbinical Saying.

Strippers Size Growing!

            Lawyer Josh Sanford, not to be confused with Ponzi Schemer Robert Allen Stanford, has made the paper again. Lawyer Sanford has been a busy fellow. He has increased the number of strip clubs he’s suing in his hoped to be class action lawsuit by fifty percent, from 2 to 3; and increased the number of plaintiff strippers by 20%, from five to six; although one of the strippers may be double counted as being in more than one club’s list of complainants. Still you have to admire the fellow for his active pursuit to right this societal injustice. One suspects that he will visit every strip club in the state if necessary in order to ‘educate’ some additional strippers for the class action, minimum wage lawsuit. After all for Lawyer Sanford to make it a class action lawsuit one would think that he would need more than three clubs and five or six strippers, but I’m not experienced in these things; one must be a lawyer to know such.

In case you missed the prior article, Lawyer Sanford is suing these strip clubs to turn the strippers into employees instead of “independent contractors” thus allowing them to earn the minimum wage of $7.25 per hour.

“What Shirley? … Good Point.” At the minimum wage of $7.25 per hour, the strippers are agreeing to be paid at the lowest level, equivalent to the wage of unskilled labor. Does this indicate that the strippers are acknowledging that they are unskilled labor? Of course no one is suggesting that they are inexperienced, just questioning if they are pleading their case to be recognized as unskilled workers. One wonders if Lawyer Sanford has pursued this with them.

You have to admire the pluck of this guy. Reminds one of Lawyer Daggett in True Grit. To represent Kim Darby, “a young woman just doing her best” Lawyer J. Noble Daggett was even willing to face John Wayne, aka ‘Rooster Cogburn’, to achieve the goal of his client. “What Shirley? … No I wasn’t saying that Lawyer Sanford was just like Lawyer J. Noble Daggett. Just that he sort of reminds me sort of, you know, in the same line as, so to speak. For instance, if I said that President Obama reminds me of President Jimmie Carter I wouldn’t be implying that Carter was a better President, just that they sort or remind me of each other, get it? Good.”

           Lawyer Sanford did not repeat his claim in this recent article that “ if these girls had their tops on, we would call them waitresses”. There are several possibilities for this omission on his part. First, his mother may have called and given him a talking to. Or perhaps, while attempting to order a “Grand Slam Breakfast” at Denny’s some hard working, top-on waitress may have suggested where he could place his order. Most likely some lawyer friend may have cautioned him that he had just maligned the good name and reputation of every hard working waitress in the state and that Lawyer Sanford might become the defendant in small law suit for defamation of character. Can’t you just visualize a waitress attending school on “Parents Day” and when introduced all the students start asking her if she takes off her top like Lawyer Sanford claims his "stripper like waitress" clients do. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if Lawyer Sanford had to be in court on the same day for both lawsuits; one for the stripper pseudo waitresses and one against him by the real waitresses?

           But back to this lawsuit. What if Lawyer Sanford wins, but the clubs can’t exist if required to pay the minimum for unskilled labor to strip off their clothing, and so shut down. Sort of a Pyrrhic Victory for the women “just doing the best they can to hold down a job”, but no longer having a place to work. One wonders if Lawyer Sanford has discussed this with his clients. Would they still have to pay him? Oh, wait, he gets paid by the clubs if they lose. So it could end up being a “lose- lose” situation. The clubs lose and fold; the strippers win but lose a place where “just doing the best they can to hold down a job”. But at least Lawyer Sanford can win, so it’s not a total wash out. At least something good can come out of all of this.

           Think of this though. What if Lawyer Sanford were on permanent retainer from the “Christian Coalition for Cleaner Cities” which has been advocating the shutting down of all strip clubs. He could win his class action suit and make a fortune plus be paid by the “C.C.C.C.” for forcing the strip clubs to shut down. Man, that’s a real ‘two-fer’! Of course that is too devious to have even a scintilla of truth in it.

          “What Shirley?  ….  No, despite what your Father said about your Mother’s divorce lawyer, lawyers don’t just crawl out from under a rock, like an “Orc” or something. I think that you’re confusing them with politicians. ….What? …You say that most politicians are lawyers?” Hmmm, I see your point.

Bits and Pieces of The Day March Tenth

How can you tell when a Politician is running for office?

            Well one clue might be when the politician runs a two column, half page 1,000 word self-written editorial telling the citizens what a great job he has done, as just published by Attorney General Dustin McDaniel of Arkansas. The entire article was a paean to the great job that he has done in protecting the citizens from the evil Utility Companies. Where he was during Lou Hardin’s 1/3 of a million dollar rip off of the taxpayers wasn’t mentioned. Nor why he didn’t join the other 28 states that have successfully proved that “Obamacare” is unconstitutional. Or where was he when those public servants were ripping off the state retirement system while still being paid for working full time? And what has he done in the case of all the state employees misusing state vehicles? But then when one writes one’s own paean, why bring up unpleasant things.

“Non violent” criminal Haven is in the making.

The Arkansas Senate passed the “Commit the Crime, Pay NO Time” bill 31 votes to 0. On the following page was an article about the capture of a burglar for 2 new counts of burglary. Turns out that the industrious young “non violent” criminal has been very busy and is also charged with five additional counts of residential burglary beginning last February 24^th. That’s seven different residential burglaries in three weeks, and average of two per week. One can only wonder what the record will become when the word spreads that in Arkansas such crimes won’t hurl you into the ‘hoosegow’. Unless the bill fails in the House, Arkansans better buy their weapons now; oh, wait, these are “non violent” criminals; they won’t hurt you, forget about needing a weapon. (Read Below).

Logic is how you look at it.

            The Arkansas House just passed a handgun bill that authorizes licensed handgun carriers to keep guns locked in their cars while parked at work. This overrides the employers right to prevent employees from bringing handguns onto the company premises, i.e., the parking lot, with the exception of schools and federal property.

            The bill’s stated intent is “to help workers who toil late at night and don’t feel safe in large parking lots after their shifts”.

            Fortunately I don’t ”toil late at night” but I’m trying to understand the logic of how having a handgun locked in my car makes me safer as I walk out the door and meander toward my vehicle, “late at night”. I guess that if one is accosted by a miscreant who isn’t in jail because he is officially “non violent”, one could request that said miscreant wait until you unlock your car door and retrieve your handgun. Oh well, our politicians have used worse logic to produce legislation.

U.S. Senate can’t find $61 billion of stuff to cut.

            It’s official on Wednesday March 9^th the U.S. Senate was unable to find $61 billion of stuff to cut out of this year’s budget. The fact that it’s grown over 20% (my guess) since 2007 would encourage one to believe that surely there are some things in there we could do without. Especially since we are about $1.2 trillion further in debt this year alone. But, nope the Dems can find $61 billion, might cost them votes; and the ‘Pubs can’t abide a measly $11 billion; it would cause some of them to break their promise. Result, you and I are still sitting on an economic train headed for a fiscal crash of such proportions that all tell us that it will be catastrophic, but our elected officials lack the courage, will, honesty to do anything about it. (Read below).

No needed action of political leadership will go unpunished.

            Well, they did it; the Wisconsin Republican Senators found a sneaky route around the cowardly desertion by the AWOL Democrats to pass a curb on government employee collective bargaining. Allegedly this will save the state and local governments in Wisconsin from future bankruptcy or astronomical tax increases and service cuts. The cost, government employee salary increases may be limited to CPI inflation rate and the employee may no longer be able to bargain on just what and how they will perform their job for the citizens of the state or local government.

            When one recalls the salaries and benefits being paid in California, like at the City of Bell, sounds like the Wisconsin taxpayers may have come out way ahead on this. However, there are already recall petitions and actions being mobilized against those 18 Republican Senators that voted for the taxpayer.

            It’s true, no good deed goes unpunished.

Arkansas May Change its Slogan To: “Commit the Crime, Pay NO Time”

             Arkansas’ Senate unanimously approved a bill this week to overhaul the State’s correctional system. Apparently the stated goal and intent of this 167-page piece of legislation is to “ to curb the rate of growth in the state’s prison population and the amount the state spends on lockups”. Our best minds, a group of state officials put together by the governor (think packed jury here)- called the “Arkansas Working Group on Sentencing and Corrections”, joined with a national prison overhaul group to come up with an absolutely brilliant idea on how to “curb the rate of growth in the state’s prison population”.

            Their solution – don’t send as many convicted criminals to jail!

            Ponder the brilliance of this idea. It has long lasting implementation prospects. Regardless of how many citizens, or folks traveling through, are convicted of crimes in the State of Arkansas, Arkansas will never need any additional prison space. Arkansas just won’t send them to jail. This isn’t just a short term, stopgap solution like so many political hair-brained schemes. It can last forever! And the State has saved the taxpayer vast sums of money that would have been required to incarcerate these miscreants.

            One slight concern and draw back does come to mind. As soon as the word spreads that in Arkansas you can “Commit the Crime and Pay NO Time” they could have an influx of “non violent” criminals. Oh what the heck, it will increase their population, maybe give them a 5^th U.S Congressional seat, and they’ll all be Democrats.

            According to the sponsor, Senator Jim Luker “… everybody has had ample opportunity to learn what’s in this bill and be satisfied with it”. The big ‘kahuna’ behind this unanimous vote may have been “A Pew Center On The States study released in January that found if Arkansas doesn’t make changes, it will spend an extra $1.1 billion on prisons in the next ten years and the prison population will grow 43%”. Making the recommended changes soon could save $875 million, the study by the Washington D.C-based center said. The study estimate, based on the current prison population of 16,018, would have 6,888 additional incarcerated criminals by the year of our Lord 2021.

Some less than glowing endorsements were noted. Senate President Henry Boyce said, “…the prosecutors are ‘hopeful’ the legislation will improve the criminal-justice system”. Sen. Jason Rapert said, “…that the law-enforcement community’s fears have not fully gone away”. Perhaps these reservations are partially based on the fact that the study was conducted by an organization with the name of “Pew”; or maybe because “Le Pew Center” is based in that home of all great ideas and good things for us outland citizens, Washington D.C.

Of course some of the prosecutorial and law-enforcement reservations might cluster around the concern of returning 6,888 “non violent” criminals to the streets to potentially continue to practice their profession; or perhaps even graduate into “Violent Criminals.” Seems like a logical concern to me.

But the good news is that all the cost of these additional “non violent” crimes resulting from a band of brigands wandering the streets will fall upon the individual victims and not upon the taxpayers as a whole. So if your mother has her purse snatched at the WalMart parking lot, no big deal to the rest of us. If your car disappears from the Kroger lot while you are there to take advantage of the ‘Senior Savings’ Tuesday sale, no big deal to the rest of us; after all you should be insured for that. As for the home TV and electronics that disappeared while you were on vacation, check with your Home Owner’s Insurance Company. Seems only fair to me. Put the cost squarely where it belongs, on the backs of all those rich citizens that own stuff that “non violent” criminals desire. Why should the rest of us be taxed just so you can keep all those things that the “non violent” criminal desires?

So, even if it isn’t officially changed by the State Legislature from “The Wonder State”, as soon as the word spreads across the nation and into Mexico, the unofficial Arkansas State slogan will be “ Come to Arkansas. Commit the Crime but Pay No Time.”

Hope all you citizens out there go get your concealed gun carry license, not that you will ever need it. Remember these are all “non violent” friendlier type of criminals.

Oh How The Mighty Have Fallen, Mr. Hardin

    

“You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you.” Ezekiel 28:15

            Lou Hardin, the consummate career politician and peoples’ servant through occupancy of many and various taxpayer funded political positions, friend of the mighty and famous, has pled guilty to money laundering and wire fraud.

            Seems that while President of the University of Central Arkansas he lost more money gambling than he could afford. His solution was to ‘defraud’, or whatever the correct term is, UCA of some $300,000.00 in one stroke of the forger’s pen.

            To his credit he pled guilty rather put all through the expense of a mock trial. But based on the outpouring of sympathy and empathy reported in the local paper, he may have pulled the trigger too quickly.

Friends from Arkansas’s Governor Mike Beebe to former Presidential hopeful and former Governor Mike Huckabee have been effusive in their praise of Mr. Hardin. Had they been on the jury, his acquittal just might have been achieved; sort of ‘politicians professional courtesy’. After all, one never knows when one may need the same ‘courtesy’. (Do you note the curious coincidence of the names of the current and former governors?)

            In fact former Governor Mike Huckabee not only gave a glowing recommendation and endorsement of Mr. Hardin in August of 2002 to become the President of UCA; he repeated the same glowing endorsement of Mr. Hardin in 2009 for the job as President of Palm Beach Atlantic University. Curiously enough, this was well after all of Mr. Hardin’s efforts to secure funds illegally from UCA had been exposed. Well, he did pay it back after he was caught red handed so maybe that overcame his complete lack of honesty and ethics in Mr. Huckabee’s opinion. Even though Mr. Hardin  had implicated three others in his scheme, who, it turns out were not only innocent, but were victims of Mr. Hardin’s forgery. By the way this is the same Mike Huckabee who while Governor pardoned a prisoner who then proceeded to travel to Washington State where he assassinated 4 police officers in cold blood. So perhaps the folks at Palm Beach Atlantic University shouldn’t have taken Mr. Huckabee’s judgment as all that wonderful. (One wonders why the need to ensure that everyone know that this school is near the Atlantic by including that in the name. Many of us would have inferred that from the city in the title, might be a clue as to the depth of the thinking process used to hire Mr. Hardin in the first place.)

The local paper reports that maximum penalties for the crimes to which Mr. Hardin pled guilty are as follows: Wire Fraud maximum of 20 years in prison and $250,000.00 fine; Money Laundering maximum of 10 years in prison and $250,000.00 fine. Mr. Hardin faces a combined total of 30 years in prison and $500,000.00 in fines.

Care to wager on whether Mr. Hardin, friend of the powerful and famous, spends any time in jail, or whether his fine comes close to the $300,000.00 he tried to sneak out of UCA? Be careful, remember it’s alleged that it was gambling that forced Mr. Hardin to do this dastardly deed.

Strippers Seek Select Status Solution

            Reported in the Arkansas paper are two new lawsuits by local lawyer Sanford, unrelated to Standford of Ponzi Scheme notoriety, to address the poor economic treatment of the local strippers at The Paper Moon and Visions “strip-clubs”.

“What Shirley?”

Shirley wants it noted that they are no longer called ‘strippers’ but are now referred to as ‘exotic dancers’. That makes no sense to me, sounds like false advertising. ‘Exotic Dancing’ is what those Thai ladies with their pointed headdress thingies do. ‘Strippers’ do erotic dances and make their money by removing pieces of clothing one item at a time accompanied by undulating body movements in time with Ravel’s Bolero or some other non-hymnal type music. They should at least have the honesty to call themselves ‘Erotic Dancers’ if the name ‘Strippers’ offends them. Which brings up a good point, if the term ‘Stripper’ offends them, even though that is what they do in public, why do they do it? Strip, I mean. Seems to me that if you don’t want to be called by the title of what you do because it offends you, then you shouldn’t be doing it at all. And besides that the newspaper article referred to the clubs as “strip-clubs”. If the clubs are “strip-clubs” then why aren’t the ladies that work in them by stripping off their clothing, called “strippers”? But I’ve digressed.

Seems that these ladies who remove their clothing for a living want to be considered ‘employees’ of the Clubs in which they undress and not be classed as “independent contractors”. They would then be able to demand at least $7.25 per hour plus their tips for, well, for removing their clothing. Turns out the current system of remuneration of the typical lady that makes a living by removing her clothes in public places is somewhat complex and not to the liking of the ladies, per this lawyer.

This could place the Clubs in somewhat of a Hobson’s choice dilemma since about six of these ‘damsels of delight’ who worked at The Paper Moon Club were arrested last month on charges of prostitution (4) and sexual indecency (2). If the ladies’ status is that of employees, would that now make the Clubs in which they dance brothels, subject to all the laws and legal issues associated with that new business activity? These things can get pretty messy once you open up the can of worms.

The lawyer attempts to make his most telling point, that “some of these ladies are young (unwed?) mothers, just doing the best they can to hold down a job.” If one has somewhat of a suspicious and slightly dirty mind, one might opine that they might possibly be enjoying motherhood due to the things they do that are associated with their profession as dancers who take off their clothing and subsequently get arrested for sexual indecency and prostitution.

Left undefined by said lawyer is the term “best”. What “best” are they doing? Their “best” dance? Their “best” strip, excuse me, “best” removal of their clothing? Their “best” what “to hold down a job”? We need to know this to be more fully empathetic with their artistically “unstatused”  plight.

The lawyer is seeking a “class action status” for his lawsuits and already has two ladies for one lawsuit and three ladies, who do this type of “best”, signed up for the other lawsuit. I’m certain that the lawyer is doing this purely for altruistic reasons and not for money or free lap dances, but “two or three” potentially naked ladies doesn’t sound like a lot of ladies to warrant it being a “class action law suit”.

The lawyer states “are just like waitresses, except they’re topless. If these girls had their tops on, we would call them waitresses and they would be paid.” I don’t know where this lawyer dines out, but I’ve yet to find a restaurant where a fully clothed waitress, or per his specs, one with her top on, comes up to the table and begins to gyrate in all types of undulations and gyrations designed to arouse in the customer the insatiable desire to give her a large tip.

But hold on just a minute; our legal “root hog” may just have found an acorn. Now I’ve not been to the “Paper Moon” to witness the work of these two oppressed lawsuit ladies, but it has always been my understanding that ladies so engaged begin their professional act with their clothes on. The lawyer Sanford may have something here. Since they are in some degree clothed at the initiation of their public denuding ritual, could they call themselves “waitresses” per the lawyer’s above allegation and thus qualify as employees? Of course that will offend all those decent women who are employed to merely take food orders and in no way, shape, or form would ever dream of removing their clothes in a public place.

             So we need to come up with a more descriptive title for the ladies that practice ritualistic denuding in front of tipsy tipping patrons. We could call them “Waitresses Awaiting Denuding Act-Badly Oppressed Denied Income Enrichment” and refer to them by the acronym “WADA BODIE”.  Not an offensive term, doesn’t completely obfuscate their real occupation and desire, plus qualifies them for employment status per their lawyer, and seems to neatly wrap this whole thing up.

It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we put our best minds on a problem! Do you think I should run for Congress?

Are Arkansas Citizens Protected From Prosecution When Compelled To Use Lethal Force to Defend Life or Property?

In “Letters” to the Editor a recent citizen of Arkansas opined current Arkansas laws 5-2-607/620 are sufficient and Arkansas “citizen defenders” require no further “Castle Defense” legislation. Reading his references, there may be some holes in Arkansas law that would need bolstering if Arkansas is to provide full “Castle Law” protection to “citizen defenders”. As a minimum the below would seem to be real concerns and issues facing a “citizen defender” in Arkansas. This increases in importance if Governor Beebe is successful in his proposal to release current and future ‘non-violent’ criminals from incarceration.

Use of Deadly Force Issues NOT clearly provided by Arkansas Law:

1.         Doesn’t specifically protect prior to forced entry into home:

For example N.C. law states: “against an intruder to prevent a forcible entry into the home or residence or to terminate the intruder's unlawful…”

  2.           Doesn’t provide for protection of property as a cause.

Again N. C. law: “or if the occupant reasonably believes that the intruder intends to commit a felony in the home or residence.

3.         Removes obligation to retreat ONLY when in person’s dwelling or on ‘curtilage’. 

Doesn’t clearly state if  “Defender” can use deadly force anywhere on own property, because term curtilage historically associated with fenced enclosures and Ark law states “outbuilding directly or intimately connected with the dwelling or in close proximity to”.

4.         Doesn’t protect “defender” at place of business or in one’s car from obligation of ‘retreating’.

5.         There is no protection against subsequent civil lawsuits when deadly force was justified.

6.         Doesn’t specifically address “Stand your Ground” issue of being under assault or threat away from your home since requires obligation to retreat, even if faced with gun or otherwise armed or menacing intimidator.

7.         Law enforcement not required to have probable cause before arresting “defender”; can just handcuff and haul the citizen defender off to jail and sort it all out later, at citizen defender’s expense.

Arkansas's Governor Beebe and His Band of Free Roaming Brigands

          Arkansas's Governor Beebe is contemplating flooding Arkansas with freed friendlier felons. He has proposed that “non-violent” criminals be turned loose on the people and streets of Arkansas rather than incarcerate them. Not totally uncontrolled mind you. The worst of them would probably have to wear ankle bracelets and all would probably be required to report to their respective Parole Officer on some type of schedule; sort of an ‘Honor System’ for the nicer criminal crowd.

The basis for this recommendation is thoughtfully backed by the leading ‘Progressive” thinkers of the day. After all, perhaps less than 50% of ‘non-violent’ criminals become violent criminals if left on their own and on the streets.

           The primary purpose of freeing the felons is to save the money that Arkansas would otherwise spend on building more prisons, maintaining them, staffing them, plus the feeding, housing, and caring for ‘non-violent’ criminals. Sounds sort of appealing, making the ‘non-violent’ criminals support themselves, rather than the taxpayer having to foot the bill.

"What Shirley? What's a 'non-violent' criminal, you ask?" Well, the best definition is a criminal that has not yet been CONVICTED of a violent crime. Doesn’t mean that the miscreant hasn’t already perpetrated a violent crime, or won’t do so in the future if left to roam the streets; just means that up to this point in time, no conviction of such a violent nature. An example of a ‘non-violent’ criminal offense probably entails: drug dealers, drug pushers, drug users, ladies of the evening, and the Bernie Madoff and Allen Stanfords of this world. Of course the folks along the Mexican border might not put some of these offenses into the ‘non-violent’ criminal class seeing as over 35,000 folks have been murdered down there in drug disagreements and related activities; but that’s their problem. Governor Beebe has a great solution brewing for the citizens of Arkansas; bring on the flood of friendly felons.

But Governor Beebe, prior to flooding the streets of Arkansas with felons, give the citizens that you profess to serve and protect the additional protection of the very best “CASTLE LAW” and “STAND YOUR GROUND LAW”! Don’t save the State money at the expense of hundreds or even thousands of citizens being subject to criminal activities and the resulting cost to each of them in stolen property, emotional distress, personal injury, or death.

Currently Arkansas has weak laws protecting “citizen defenders” when the “citizen defender” is faced with using physical or lethal force to protect him or herself, or loved ones, or other innocents, or their own property.

At a minimum give the Citizens of Arkansas the added legal protection against your ‘band of brigands’ that “Castle Laws” and “Stand Your Ground Laws” provide.